Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship. Without it, relationships struggle to thrive. When trust erodes, it can lead to constant conflict, emotional distance, and even a breakdown in intimacy.

Trust doesn’t disappear in an instant; it often unravels over time through small, repeated actions. In some cases, a single, significant betrayal—like an affair—can deeply wound trust. However, even in these instances, small moments of mistrust might have been building up beneath the surface, compounding the eventual hurt.

If you’re reading this, it’s because you’re feeling the weight of broken trust and want to repair your relationship. It’s painful, but it’s possible to rebuild. Many couples have gone through this process and emerged stronger. You can too.

Here’s a guide to start mending the trust in your relationship and rebuilding your bond.

1. Be Honest and Open with Your Communication

When trust is broken, silence only makes things worse. It’s essential to be open and transparent with each other. Don’t bury your feelings or keep things hidden. This is the time to discuss what’s happening, honestly and respectfully.

Consider these questions to spark the conversation:

• What behaviors are contributing to the broken trust?
• Do both of you feel safe to share your true feelings, thoughts, and needs?
• Do you feel heard and understood by your partner?
• What narrative are you telling yourself about the situation? Can you share that with your partner for clarity?

Aim to listen more than you speak, especially in the early conversations. This can be difficult, but it’s crucial for rebuilding trust. If at any point it feels like neither of you is making progress, it’s okay to take a break and revisit the conversation later. Set a time to continue, allowing both partners space to reflect and gain perspective.

2. Assume the Positive

“Positive sentiment override” is a term used to describe the mindset where, despite acknowledging a partner’s flaws, you still view them in a positive light. Even when trust has been broken, it’s important to try to see your partner through a compassionate lens.

By adopting a positive mindset, you shift the dynamic from “everything is wrong” to “there’s more good than bad.” This mindset doesn’t mean ignoring real issues, but rather focusing on the positive aspects of your partner and your relationship.

Here’s what that mindset looks like in practice:

• Use humor to defuse tense situations.
• Address grievances with gentleness rather than blame.
• Prioritize the friendship and emotional bond you share.
• Focus on the qualities you love in your partner, even if it takes time.
• Give your partner the benefit of the doubt when they make mistakes.
• Take a calm approach to addressing issues, like this: “I loved hearing about your day, but I felt overlooked when you didn’t ask about mine. In the future, it would mean a lot to me if you asked about my day too.”

3. Understand Forgiveness is a Process

Rebuilding trust is impossible without forgiveness. If there was a betrayal, you may not be ready to forgive right away—and that’s okay. Take your time. The key is communicating with your partner that you’re not ready, and you need space to heal. Avoid stonewalling, as it will only deepen the pain.

Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. There will be days when progress feels slow, and moments when it feels like you’re not making any headway at all. This is part of the process.

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing or forgetting the hurt; it’s about letting go of the negative emotions that weigh down the relationship. As you heal, you’ll find it easier to forgive more quickly, but remember: it’s okay to take the time you need.

What matters most is that you both work toward healing, letting go of past resentments, and allowing the relationship to thrive. Forgiveness is essential, not just for peace within the relationship, but for your personal growth and emotional wellbeing too.

4. Be Patient and Consistent

Rebuilding trust takes time. There will be setbacks, moments of doubt, and difficult conversations. But if both partners remain committed to the process and continue to demonstrate understanding, empathy, and consistent effort, trust can be restored.

While it may be hard at times, remember that this journey, though painful, is a pathway to greater intimacy and a stronger connection. When you rebuild trust, you not only heal your relationship but also grow individually, learning valuable lessons about communication, forgiveness, and resilience.

Trust may have been broken, but with patience and effort, it can be rebuilt stronger than before. You have the power to move past the pain and create a relationship based on mutual respect, love, and trust once again.